Have a scheduled outburst

What on earth is a scheduled outburst, you might ask?

Well, if you have something that is playing on your mind long-term, making you anxious and trying to take over your mind all the time, this could be good for you.

Choose a time once a week, or once a day if you feel it necessary, when you "schedule in" time to think about, talk about or write about what's troubling you. Talk to someone close to you, talk to yourself if you have to, or write your thoughts down in a journal. This is your allocated time.

The rest of your time is not for dedicating to your problem or worries. That time is for living, and thinking about other, regular day-to-day things as much as you can. If you catch yourself thinking too deeply about it or talking about it outside of the hour or so you allocate it, put it to one side and tell yourself you'll think about it later. Remember how when you were a kid in class you used to sit in a circle and only the child who was holding the talking stick/bouncy ball/teddy bear was allowed to talk? It's like that.

I can't take credit for this idea, unfortunately. I read it in this book, which has proved to be really useful for me. Let me know if you find scheduled outbursts work for you!

Life is pretty simple

Do what makes you happy.

If something isn't going to make you happy, don't do it.

If you think it will make you happy, do it.

There really is nothing else.

Winston Churchill says stop worrying

"When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
- Winston Churchill

It's okay to hope

In 2010 I had a conversation online with someone, about where to get my first tattoo done. After this guy had given me the advice I had asked for, I mentioned that I wasn't going to get my tattoo done yet as I was due to go into hospital and didn't want to have to look after it while I was in there. He said he hoped I wasn't going in for anything serious. I said no, it's nothing serious. I was wrong.

I don't want to be wrong again.

Sometimes that stops me from saying things. The other day I was texting my boyfriend and we were talking about the holidays we have planned. I text him saying it's going to be a good year. And as soon as I sent it, I regretted it. Because what if that's not true? What if it's going to be a bad year? I didn't want to tempt the universe to prove me wrong. Which I know is silly. Because it's okay to be hopeful, right? I was listening to Better Open The Door by Motion City Soundtrack the other day, and it goes:

"And it's all uphill from here, at least I hope so."

And that reminded me that it's okay to hope that things are going to turn out well. Sometimes that's all we have.

We are all humans

We are all humans.
We live in all sorts of different places.
We all have different talents.
We believe different things.
Some of us are male and some are female.
Some of us like men, some of us like women.
We all have different priorities.
We all have different struggles.

But we all have one thing in common - none of us want to suffer. What we class as suffering varies from person to person, but we all have our own demons and problems. Hopefully keeping this in mind will help us all to find some common ground. And that would make us all happy.

We are all human. Isn't that really all anyone needs to know?

One step at a time

I have a 40 minute commute to work every day from my boyfriend's house, and while I could go straight from our town to the town my work is in, I instead take a different route (which is near enough the same distance) from our town, to the town where my parents live, to the town I work in. I quite like it because it feels like my journey is split into two or three different parts, and I know the route so well from long before I started working where I do.

But sometimes when I'm still in the first town and moving towards the second, I think about the fact that I still have quite a way to drive before I get to work, and the thought of the distance left makes me groan inwardly a bit. So I try not to think about it and banish the thought from my mind.

And I think you can apply that to anything that takes ages, or is routine, or you can't be bothered to do. Because thinking about what you have to do next triggers an "ugh" reaction. Stay in the moment and concentrate on what you're doing right now, and you're more likely to be an ugh-free zone.

Minions make me happy

This is what makes me happy!

Also, "Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof" is such a cool line.

Bad news is good news

Is it a good thing that there is bad news on the TV news?

Because if there was good news on the news all the time, that would make it news, as if bad things happening were the norm. But good things happen all the time, and that's why they aren't news.

So you could possibly argue that it is good that bad things are on the news, because it makes them less usual events worth reporting. (I say less usual because yeah, I know, a lot of bad stuff happens.)

Yes, it's a simplistic idea, but it occurred to me to make some sort of sense, so I wrote it down. Took me two tries to write it in a way that wasn't completely nonsensical, but still. It's just an "at least..." kind of thought - at least terrible things aren't the norm, otherwise it would be good stuff that would be reporting on and considered "news".

The word news looks really weird to me now.

Treat yourself on a Monday

I love having things to look forward to. Whether it's a holiday, my favourite food, or watching my favourite TV show at the end of the day.

That's why I think it's a good idea to spread out your treats, so you have something to look forward to often, even if it's something small. Instead of having that chocolate on a Friday, have it on a Monday. Because Fridays are already great - what's Monday got going for it? Make Mondays chocolate day (or whatever you fancy), and you'll have at least two things every week to look forward to. Win!

The power of body confidence

A while ago I was feeling a bit down in a way I hadn't really thought about properly or identified, and I realised that it was because I wasn't feeling happy with my body.

It was one of those things where I just didn't notice that it was making me feel unhappy, and I don't know what exactly it was that made me realise it. But once I did notice, I realised that it was having a bad impact on my self image and self-confidence, which isn't like me at all.

For me, it's my belly that's the problem. Apart from the fact it's a bit flabbier than it used to be, it's scarred and a bit misshapen from a couple of surgeries, which makes it not as pleasant-looking as it used to be.

But scars aren't anything I can do much about. They're continuing to fade, and yes, the bottom half of my belly area is a lot flatter than the bit just above it, but there's nothing I can do about that. All I can do is try and make it a bit more toned, and otherwise accept it for what it is. So in an attempt at the latter, I've taken a picture of it (anything in greyscale is automatically uber artistic, right?) to make me feel better about it.

And in my pictures, my belly actually looks a bit smaller from the front, compared to when I look down at it from my own point of view. And I do feel better about it, looking at this picture. It just goes to show that sometimes all you need is a different perspective.

We are our own siblings

Earlier today, I was thinking about a quote I remembered from one of my favourite TV shows, Frasier. While talking about their potential future family tree, Martin says this:

"And if you and Lilith got back together, you'd be his step-father and his brother and Niles would be your son and his own uncle!"

And I started thinking about how I'm kind of my own sister, because a sister is someone who has the same parents as you, which I do.

So in a way we're all our own sisters or brothers. (I hope this makes as much sense to you as it does inside my head!)

And with that theory, we should therefore treat ourselves as we would want our siblings to treat us.

The takeaway thought from this insight into my random thought trails? Be kind to yourself. And to your siblings, if you have any. Just another little reminder that happiness is in your control, and you can make a start by looking after yourself the way you deserve to be looked after - the way a sibling would look after you.

Your eighty year old self

When you're eighty (or if you happen to be eighty now, when you're ninety), how will you feel when you think back to the way things are for you now? Will you be proud of the person you are? Will you be happy about the choices you have made?

Imagine being eighty (or ninety, or one hundred) and someone asks you what life was like when you were the age you are now. What do you want to be able to say in response? What would your ideal reply be, and does that match up to what you would say, the way things are now? Here's my example:

Someone else: What were you like when you were 26, what was going on?

Me at 80 (the truth as it is now): Well, I was half living at my parents' house and half living with my boyfriend of seven years. Me and my boyfriend were really happy. I was working in a role that was really new to me, and I had a lot of good things planned - some holidays, some gigs - with a mind to get married and start a family within the next few years.

Me at 80 (what I would like to be able to say): Well, I was living with my boyfriend of seven years - I had just moved in and we were really happy (and still are now that we have been married for over 50 years!) I had settled into my new role at work, and had a lot of good things planned - some holidays, some gigs - with a mind to get married and start a family within the next few years.

Luckily for me there isn't much I would need to change to be able to say what I want to be able to say if I were asked the question at 80. And I know those things I would like to be true will become true in due course, and if that were to not be the case, I would do everything I could to make it so.

So the question is, what tales do you want to be able to tell when you're older? What do you want to be able to say to your grandchildren? Start making it happen today.

Stop saying if and start saying when

I have a bucket list. Some things I've ticked off it are visiting New York (and seeing several of the sights there), doing a firewalk, getting a fish pedicure, and toasting marshmallows. Things I'm yet to tick off are climbing The O2, seeing Slipknot live, going to gay pride, and learning to speak Swedish fluently, among many others!

The reason I started a bucketlist is that I had a health problem a few years ago (which we don't need to go into really for the purposes of this blog post), and after that I felt the need to do exciting and interesting things, and make proper plans for doing them. Whether it's through a new perspective, fear of said health problem coming back, or some other complicated feeling, I don't like saying "someday" anymore. Someday isn't good enough for me now.

So when I decide I want to do something, I want to either do it immediately, or if that's not possible, try to make a commitment to do it at a particular time. Make plans. I've always been a bit of an impatient person anyway, feeling the urge to do something right away once I decide that's what should be done, but I feel that way even more so nowadays.

"Someday" doesn't get things done. "Someday" can sometimes mean never. It can mean just not getting around to things, and with life being what it is, so unpredictable, that's not good enough. So stop saying "if" and start saying "when". Nothing needs to be set in stone, but instead of saying "If I ever make it to Las Vegas", say "When I go to Las Vegas", and have a time in mind - whether it's this time next year, when the kids are a bit older, when you get that promotion... whatever you see fit to plan towards. Because if you don't, you might never get to do that thing you really want to experience, and that's why to me, phrases like "if", "someday", "hopefully", and "at some point" just aren't good enough.

Here's my bucketlist, and here's where you can make your own.

Complaining vs. Consideration

I was going to write a blog post about this, but I see Danielle Laporte has beaten me to it! Her article here basically says what I wanted to say: that before you get annoyed, irritated, angry or upset with a person and their actions, consider why they are doing what they are doing or acting that way, and if you don't know, then, well you just don't know. I recall a while ago someone was complaining about another person's actions, and then upon hearing that person's story, saying "oh, I didn't know..." Well exactly, you didn't know - all the more reason to think twice before making judgements.

I was thinking about this topic today because I was driving to my parents' house from my boyfriend's (I currently seem to be occupying two homes!) and I was behind a particularly slow driver going at quite a few miles below the speed limit. But I am trying to make a habit of being more chilled out about things like that, especially because I wasn't in a rush, so instead of getting frustrated by the slow speed I had to drive at, I instead thought about why the driver was going so slowly - maybe they were nervous, had only just learnt to drive and had just passed their test, were elderly, or made nervous by the windy weather, or a myriad of other factors - I just didn't know.

So I didn't get annoyed, I just wondered, and that made me think about how other people aren't just strangers, but similarly to me, humans with a rich, colourful tapestry of story behind them... which sounds like a very obvious thing to say, but sometimes we don't think about that - I'm not the only one, right? Sometimes other people seem 2D in our minds, and we don't consider anything deeper than what we can see.

I think taking a detour to the question "Why?" instead of navigating straight to annoyedsville is a great strategy to practice for better consideration and peace of mind. Besides, in this case, driving a bit slower than you'd prefer is nothing to get stressed about. Namaste!

Thoughts aren't facts

Something that helps me chill out sometimes is to remind myself of something I once read - thoughts aren't facts.

The next time you have a panic or sudden worry about something, think about that - thoughts aren't facts. They're just thoughts. Just because something pops into your head doesn't mean it's true. Your brain may be conjuring up nonsense, because let's face it, sometimes are brains aren't very helpful towards us. So when it throws up a worrying thought, don't mount it and ride it like a wild horse until it throws you into a ditch. Just watch it. Observe it, and acknowledge how it makes you feel, and be mindful. You don't need to do anything more than that. Because if you just watch it and don't engage it, that wild horse will keep on running until it disappears into the distance.

Love yourself this Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day! The message of today's blog is:

Love yourself.

I know what you're thinking, and you can stop that right now. What I mean is that it's important to love yourself, to pamper yourself, to accept yourself in the way that you love and accept your other half, friends or family.

When was the last time you treated yourself to a present (however small), gave yourself a compliment, or treated yourself the way you would want other people to treat you? If you can't remember, that's not good enough. Indulge yourself today, even if it's just by watching your favourite TV show, having a bath or eating a bit of chocolate.

So this Valentine's Day, whether you share it with another person or not, be sure to look after yourself and show yourself some appreciation.

"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."
        - Buddha

New Year's Resolutions

New year's resolutions are for the whole year - that's why they're called new year resolutions! - so why do we make them in January, have a bit of a go for a couple of weeks and then forget about it all for the next twelve months - or is that just me?

My resolution this year was to learn Swedish, which to my own amazement I'm still dead set on! I think it should be more widely promoted to check on our resolutions maybe halfway through the year, or even every three months or so, so they don't fall by the wayside.

But for now, here's your resolution check-up: Did you make any resolutions this year, and are you still working on them? If so, are there any ways you could improve your efforts? If you've stopped, why? What will it take to make you start again? There's still over eleven months left of the year, so if you haven't succeeded in your plans yet, you've got plenty of time to do yourself proud and make it work. Good luck - or as they say in Sweden, lycka till!

Being grateful dreams aren't real!

I had a nightmare last night. I don't know if this is normal because it feels like a kind of childish thing to say, but I had a nightmare, and it didn't make any sense as they so rarely do, but it was about some sort of ghost or paranormal presence, something about cars being able to drive without wheels and wheels moving by themselves... like I said, it didn't make any sense, but it was one of those dreams I have sometimes that just feels really creepy and scary, you know? Like watching a scary movie or something. (See my scared face below!)

Anyway, I woke up in the middle of the night and my first blurry, semi-logical thought was that I was back in the real world and that dreams aren't real, and thank goodness they aren't because that wasn't a very nice one. So even though it was a crappy dream, I woke up feeling safe, and sort of happy in a way (but still a bit creeped out) and just generally grateful that whatever creepy thing I was dreaming about isn't real. Phew!

Wherein I ramble about happiness and anger in music

Sometimes I worry that my favourite singers are getting too happy. Like when Professor Green got married last year, I had a fleeting panic that he was really happy and because of that he wouldn't write and perform good songs anymore. Which is a bit silly, because getting married doesn't mean that nothing is ever going to annoy, anger or upset a person ever again.

While my fears were most likely unfounded, it does make me think about how sad or angry songs seem to be the best, at least in my opinion. As someone who loves rock music, particularly of the heavy variety (my three favourite bands are Slipknot, Alkaline Trio and 30 Seconds To Mars), I much prefer songs I can relate to, and if I can't relate to them they have to be saying something meaningful at least, and if they aren't particularly meaningful they have to sound hella good for me to be interested. So if bands aren't feeling angsty, they're not going to be writing and performing angsty songs, and that's the kind of thing I love and can relate to best.

But why? It's not like I'm angsty all of the time, but this train of thought is making me think about how anger and upset in music (or books, or art) is so very relateable, but happier stuff isn't quite so much. I mean, if I'm angry then I can relate to angry music so well, and that connection feels amazing. But if I'm happy and I'm listening to something happy, I don't feel that same connection to the music, even though I can relate to it because I do feel that way.

I dunno. It just seems to me that artists do their best work when they're angsty, and I enjoy unhappy songs more than happy songs, even when I am happy. I do wonder if other people get concerned about bands getting too happy to write good stuff, but hey, nobody is happy all the time. I just find it interesting how much I love all this angry, unhappy stuff even when I'm perfectly happy!

How do you want to feel?

I came across a good question today:

Well? I guess the idea is to identify how you want to feel and take steps to changing things so that you can feel that way more. Because you can't change things for the better unless you know what you want to accomplish!

I would like to experience more excitement, which is why I have lots of trips planned for this year - a couple of gigs, mine and my partner's first holiday abroad together, and hopefully gay pride in Brighton in the summer. It's also the reason why I did a firewalk last October, but more on that in a different blog post. I just love to do new things and have lots of things to look forward to!

I would also like to experience less worry about certain things and feel more relaxed about them. And the way I can do that is by...

Well, I think I'm going to have to put a bit more thought into that! But it's a start, right? What would you like to feel more often?

How Bhutan Measures Happiness

We all know the saying money can't buy happiness, and I'd say for certain that happiness is more important than money. That's why I find the kingdom of Bhutan quite interesting.

Forget GNP/Gross National Product, there's something more important that the people of Bhutan measure, and that's GNH - Gross National Happiness.

Bhutan has measured GNH since 1972 to determine the quality of life of its people, and it's the only country in the world to do so.  These are the factors they look at to work out their gross national happiness:

1. Economic wellness - things like consumer debt and average income
2. Environmental wellness such as pollution, noise and traffic
3. Physical wellness - from statistics of things like severe illnesses
4. Mental wellness such as the use of anti-depressants or how many people are being treated for mental issues
5. Workplace wellness - how many people are unemployed, and the amount of work complaints
6. Social wellness - things like divorce rates, safety, crime rates and lawsuits
7. Political wellness - local democracy and foreign conflicts

I'm not sure how much of an indicator this really is as to people's individual happiness, but I think the concept is a good one, because a leader of a country should want the people of the country to be happy, and if I ran a country that would be more important to me than having loads of money. But then I'm not the queen or prime minister, which is probably a good thing! I just think if a country is happy, then that country is very rich indeed.

100 Happy Days

A new challenge has arisen in the form of http://100happydays.com. I haven't tried this yet but it sounds like a pretty cool idea - for 100 days, take a picture of something that made you happy that day. It sounds like a great way to get into the habit of being happy, of finding things to be grateful for. Think of it as training yourself to be happy - happiness just takes practice, and as soon as we start looking for it, the sooner we'll find it and the easier it will be to see. Or at least, that's my theory!

So what made you happy today? This might be a difficult question if you haven't had a very good day, but if you think hard enough you may be able to find something, even if it's just getting home or into bed at the end of it all. Even if you don't take the 100 Happy Days challenge, take a little time at the end of each day to think about something good that happened. If you write it down, that's even better as you'll have a reminder of good things to read if you're feeling down.

You may find you've actually had a lot to be happy about some days, and struggle to pick just one thing to write down or take a picture of!

Having A Happy Mantra

Every day, Lisa Bonchek Adams posts the following Tweet:

"Find a bit of beauty in the world today. Share it. If you can't find it, create it. Some days this may be hard to do. Persevere."

Every single day. Pretty cool, I thought. Every time I see it, it makes me think. It doesn't get old. What a great way to try to find something positive in every day.

I have something a little similar, wherein if I start thinking too much about things that make me feel anxious or unhappy, I tell myself to "shut up and breathe, just shut up and breathe". Not quite as poetic as Lisa's, and a bit more bossy and demanding, but it tends to make me snap out of whatever unpleasant train of thought I'm having and bring myself back to the present moment so I'm not so wrapped up in those thoughts.

Whether it's something you say to yourself every day to find positivity, or something you use to stop feeling stressed, an encouraging thought to rely on when you need it can be a great thing to have. And if you make a habit of incorporating it into your life, positivity will become routine and natural to you.

Don't know where to look?

Often people say that to be happy and content you shouldn't dwell on the past or worry about the future, but instead concentrate on right now. Which I'd probably agree with - as I've said in a previous post, sometimes if you're about to encounter a stressful situation it can be good to remind yourself that right at that present moment you aren't encountering immediate stress or pain.

But it's nice to think about the past. If it's happy stuff you're remembering, it's fun to reminisce, especially with other people who remember too. And sometimes maybe it's even good to think about the bad stuff that happened because it means you can be grateful that things are better now, and have some perspective. And of course, you need to plan some stuff for the future occasionally, and it's fun to think about the possibilities the future can bring.

I suppose the key is just to not dwell on things, to maybe look back or forwards, but don't look for too long. Make sure you're not looking back for so long that you forget to keep an eye on the present, otherwise it'll just pass by and you'll miss it all.

Maybe it's just okay to look anywhere, as long as the view makes you smile.

Abraham Lincoln ~ Happiness Quotes

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
 - Abraham Lincoln

Jamminess ~ Happiness Quotes

"Happiness is like jam. You can t spread even a little without getting some on yourself."
            - Anonymous
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Apparently being kind and generous to other people will make you feel happy, as well as them. But to find out for sure if this is true, you'll have to try it out for yourself! Namaste.

A Happy Place

When I lived in my previous house, I enjoyed walking down to the bottom of my estate and down a footpath over a little stream and past a field with horses in. It was quiet and peaceful, and I used to walk down by myself, listening to music and just generally having some me time and a chance to think about things and relax. I called it my happy place.

We lived there for six years before we moved, and we've been in our current house for over a year. I was worried when we moved - aside from loving our house, I loved the area and worried about missing my "happy place" and having nowhere I would hold in the same regard.

Which made me wonder, do we really need an external happy place, in the outside world? Shouldn't we be able to create our own "happy place" inside our minds? If we rely on external things to make us happy, well, as my house move demonstrated, those things won't be in reach forever, so it's a safer bet to rely on your own mind instead.

If you need to go to a happy place, close your eyes and imagine it. Or, just close your eyes and imagine nothing. Call it meditation, call it simply taking a breather - if you adopt this technique, you can access peace as long as you have your brain with you. Which we all hopefully do, the majority of the time! Namaste.

(The above picture was taken in Jersey, which I wish was close enough to have been my happy place!)

Have A Happy Facebook

It's Facebook's tenth birthday today, so it seems like an appropriate time, once the mandatory lamenting of Mark Zuckerberg's success is done with, to post about having a happy Facebook.

Facebook actually seems to bring about quite a bit of distress for some people. From jealousy over other people's seemingly perfect lives (they're as un-perfect as yours, they're just not posting the bad bits, same as you), to being tagged in unflattering pictures, to the angry backlash from a spur of the moment status that should have been more thought - there seem to be a never ending amount of problems.

But I always argue that it's not Facebook that causes problems, it's the way people use it. Here's a quote from one of my favourite Facebook pages, Buddhist Boot Camp:

"I invite you to make your own Facebook page a source of positivity and inspiration for others. We are over-exposed to fear and negativity through all other forms of media, so don't use social media for more of the same... Instead of complaining on here, judging or belittling others, make sure that when someone lands on your page or sees your posts, they are uplifted, inspired, and look forward to hearing from you again." - Timber Hawkeye

So inspired by this, here's a list of things we can all do to make Facebook more of a hive of happiness, without jealousy, anger or upset.

1. Think before you post. Allow me to share another quote from Buddhist Boot Camp:

"Before speaking (or typing), ask yourself these three questions: 

Is what I'm about to say true? 

Is what I'm about to say necessary? 

Is what I'm about to say kind? 

If it's not, then don't say it, email it or text it.. eventually you won't even think it. Make this a new habit and you'll immediately be contributing to an honest, sincere, and gossip-free world! 

Be part of the solution by not being part of the pollution!"

2. If someone continuously posts gossiping, bitter, or hurtful statuses, there's no reason why you can't unfriend them... unless they are actually your close friends or family, in which case if you don't want to cause upset you could simply hide their updates from your wall.

3. Follow pages that inspire you or make you laugh

4. Complain less, and post more about what makes you happy.

5. Remember that other people only post the good parts of their life on Facebook. People may seem like they have a lot to gloat about and nothing to worry about, but everyone has their own struggles that they don't talk about online. Don't compare your bad days to the good moments they post on Facebook.

What is happiness?

So since we're talking about it, what on earth is happiness, anyway?

The Oxford Dictionary defines it as "feeling or showing pleasure or contentment". I would say that pleasure and happiness are two different things, pleasure being short term, like the feeling you get when you drink a really good, thick chocolate milkshake (or I do, at least). And happiness being something that can be more long term.

Not that I'm saying the Oxford Dictionary is wrong, of course! But when I talk on this blog about how to be happy, I don't mean how to find pleasure in things, because that would be a whole lot easier (and a lot shorter!). "Things" will bring us pleasure, sure. But happiness when I speak about it here is a calmness of mind which ensures through all experiences - whether you're drinking that chocolate milkshake, having an argument with someone, or doing the weekly grocery shop.

And of course, happiness will mean different things to everyone. Somewhere while reading this blog, someone was thinking "Chocolate milkshake? Ew! Vanilla all the way, baby." As we all have different life experiences and go through different situations, one person's idea of contentment or happiness will be different to another's. What does happiness mean to you? Let me know what you think! Namaste.

Remember to be happy

This may sound really silly and obvious, but if you want to be happy, you need to remember to be happy.

We can get so wrapped up in life - in work and careers, in our daily monotony, and countless other things that we have to deal with - that we don't often stop and think "am I happy?"

We should question these things more. I love Buddhism, and you'll see a lot of that in this blog, and the reason I love it is because instead of just saying "this is what's true, and you should believe it because I've said it", Buddha encouraged people to think for themselves, to take teachings and decide whether or not they thought them to be correct and applicable to their own lives and understanding. I think that also applies here - don't just go through the motions and accept life as it is - ask yourself the question. Are you happy? And if not, why not?

Analyse. What would make you feel happier? If you're in a job you don't like, change it. If you aren't happy in your relationship, try to improve it. Don't settle for your current career just because "everyone hates their job". For one thing, that's not true. Just because it may be difficult to make a positive change, doesn't mean it's impossible. Sure, people don't tend to like working, but that doesn't mean you should just not bother looking for something else if you're not happy. Don't settle, and don't give up. Make a positive change. Namaste.

Unsoiled by the world ~ Happiness Quotes

"As a lotus flower is born in water, grows in water and rises out of water to stand above it unsoiled, so I, born in the world, raised in the world having overcome the world, live unsoiled by the world." - Buddha

This is one of my favourite quotes, as I find it really inspirational. It means we will go through bad experiences but come out the other side. If I'm having a tough time, this beautiful quote can make me feel stronger and more powerful. It's just another reminder that nothing lasts forever, even when bad experiences and feelings feel like they will. We're all lotus flowers. Now don't you feel strong and pretty? Namaste!

"I'll be happy when this is over"

Hello! Welcome to my blog, all about happiness - how we can attain it, what makes us happy, having a calm and peaceful mind, and hopefully some inspiration.

I thought I'd start with a post about something that has been on my mind lately - have you ever said or heard anyone else say "I'll be happy when this is over"? I've caught myself thinking it a few times, and I've realised it's a bit of a weird thing to say, isn't it? I mean, the way it's phrased makes it sound like a choice - "I'm not happy now, but rather than try to change it, I refuse to be happy until after this particular event". There is definitely an argument for happiness being a choice rather than not, but more on that later. It just seems like a strange thing to say - "I'll be happy when this is over".

The last couple of times I've caught myself saying it I've thought to myself "well, why not be happy now?" Sometimes I say it because something unpleasant is about to happen, but maybe it hasn't actually happened yet. So I think to myself, am I not happy right now, right in this moment? Sitting here on this chair, just thinking about things that are going to happen but are not directly affecting me right now? Am I in pain or uncomfortable? Is something unpleasant happening right at this very moment? If not, I try to hold on to that thought, and think about being in the moment. This is called being mindful - more on that later, too.

I know just telling yourself not to be unhappy or worry is not as easy as it sounds. But as with all things, it will get easier with practice. And if the answer to the question "is something unpleasant happening right at this very moment?" is yes, well, just know you can ride it out. Nothing lasts forever. Stay positive. Namaste.