It's hard being truthful online

It's really strange being so honest on the internet, because I never know who knows what about me. I've never been so honest and open online before, but with this blog and my personal Tumblr, I just say whatever I feel like saying. My Tumblr is even more revealing than this blog, and it's a relief to be able to say whatever I want. On Tumblr, it's mostly strangers reading, because I never post any links to those posts on Facebook or anywhere else.

But with this blog, I do say a lot of stuff, and the only reason I really hold back a bit is because this is a blog that's supposed to be about happiness, and me dwelling on negative things kind of defeats the purpose unless it's to explain a point about being positive.

So when I do post on here, I normally post a link on my @how2behappyblog on Twitter, and on my own personal Facebook - not the how to be happy Facebook page because there's nobody there, but my own private Facebook page where all my friends and family are. (Though I do hide these kinds of posts from my family.) And it just makes it a bit weird because I reveal a lot about myself on the internet that you can't just drop into conversation face to face. It makes me wonder who reads these things and who knows what about me. Sometimes I'm talking to someone - either online or offline - and I'll be thinking "Do you know? Do you know all about who I am, what I've been through in the past, how I feel about some things? What do you think about it? Do you think of me differently now, and is that for better or worse? Or do you just not really think about it much at all?" And it's really weird, because... I dunno, it's just odd. I do like telling the truth online though. It makes me feel brave. It's easier than saying things out loud, though at times it's still kinda hard... but face to face if I try to say something, sometimes the words just won't come out. That's a strange experience as well isn't it? When you're so close to saying something but you just can't bring yourself to say the words. Fear. Or something.

I'm not asking anyone to tell me that they know (unless they really want to). It's just something that occurred to me. And I like people to know, because it makes me feel like people know me better. Because it's such a big part of me now, whether I like it or not.

I've just realised I've managed to write this entire blog post without saying what "it" is. But if anyone is reading and they've read the blog before, they'll probably know already.