Today I'm pondering why so many of us are so resistant to change. And I think it all goes back to that word again - attachment. If you haven't read my previous blog on this, here's a quick explanation of what attachment is.
We dislike change because we're attached to whatever it is we already have, and the way our lives currently are. If we were to rid ourselves of attachment, and to recognise that everything is impermanent, maybe we'd all be more accepting of change. We'd feel less disrupted when things did change, and more open to things being different.
This doesn't mean that we should always expect the worst or be negative. It just means that we should be able to say "I'm happy/unhappy with the way things are now, but I accept that they won't be this way forever."
That's my interpretation on why we don't like change, anyway - with a Buddhist slant. And remember what Turk from Scrubs once said - "Different doesn't always mean bad - it just means different."
Showing posts with label buddhism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label buddhism. Show all posts
Wednesday, 2 April 2014
Thursday, 27 March 2014
Emptiness
Yesterday we talked about interconnectedness in Buddhism, and how everything is dependant on other things - not one object or person can exist on its own. Which leads us nicely onto the Buddhist concept of emptiness.
Emptiness is based on this idea of interconnectedness - if nothing can exist without relying on other things, e.g. a good meal can't exist without crockery, shops, their workers, vegetable farmers, cutlery, the person who made it, and so on - then that means that people and objects are "empty". I know the expression empty doesn't sound particularly joyful, but it really is.
It doesn't mean that there's just nothing there at all. Take a chair as an example, and picture this in your mind - it wouldn't be a chair without its wooden legs. It also wouldn't be a chair (or at least, not a really nice, comfortable one) without its cushion. Take away the wood, the fabric, the cushion stuffing, and what's left? Where is the chair now? It doesn't exist on its own.
Emptiness also means that things, quite simply, *are*, and anything we feel towards them is something we have projected onto them ourselves. For example, a teddy is just a teddy, until we think about where we got it from - who gave it to us, under what circumstances, how long we've had it for, and so on. This creates feelings we have for the teddy. Take those away, and it's just a stuffed bear. Emptiness is the absence of attachment, the acceptance of impermanence, and therefore, a very good thing to recognise.
Emptiness is based on this idea of interconnectedness - if nothing can exist without relying on other things, e.g. a good meal can't exist without crockery, shops, their workers, vegetable farmers, cutlery, the person who made it, and so on - then that means that people and objects are "empty". I know the expression empty doesn't sound particularly joyful, but it really is.
It doesn't mean that there's just nothing there at all. Take a chair as an example, and picture this in your mind - it wouldn't be a chair without its wooden legs. It also wouldn't be a chair (or at least, not a really nice, comfortable one) without its cushion. Take away the wood, the fabric, the cushion stuffing, and what's left? Where is the chair now? It doesn't exist on its own.
Emptiness also means that things, quite simply, *are*, and anything we feel towards them is something we have projected onto them ourselves. For example, a teddy is just a teddy, until we think about where we got it from - who gave it to us, under what circumstances, how long we've had it for, and so on. This creates feelings we have for the teddy. Take those away, and it's just a stuffed bear. Emptiness is the absence of attachment, the acceptance of impermanence, and therefore, a very good thing to recognise.
Wednesday, 26 March 2014
Interconnectedness
Let's take a look at another teaching from Buddhism - interconnectedness. This is the concept of everything being connected and relying on something else for it to be, well, what it is. Let's look at an example.
You're going to the cinema with your friends. Many people go to the cinema as a social activity with others, so the mere fact that your friends are there makes it more enjoyable. But you wouldn't be going to see the movie if the actors, director, script writers, producers and so on hadn't made the movie.
You'd also have a pretty difficult time going to the cinema without the guys and gals who serve you popcorn and sell the tickets. And you don't want to stand up for two hours, do you? So what about the chairs in the cinema, and the people who made them, and the people who made the fabric for the chairs? For that matter, what about the cinema itself, and its bricklayers and architects? How did you get to the cinema? Did you drive yourself? What about the car and what it's made from, the people who put it together, the people who designed it?
I could go on and on about just this one scenario, but you get the picture. What this means for us is that nothing can exist on its own, without relying on anything else. Everything that you are has been influenced by something or someone else. So why should that make us happy? Well, once we realise that everything is connected, we can be more grateful for everything and everyone, and also be more accepting of things changing and being more fluid than we sometimes think, and this can help us let go of attachments.
Interconnectedness is also related to the Buddhist term "emptiness". More on this tomorrow.
You're going to the cinema with your friends. Many people go to the cinema as a social activity with others, so the mere fact that your friends are there makes it more enjoyable. But you wouldn't be going to see the movie if the actors, director, script writers, producers and so on hadn't made the movie.
You'd also have a pretty difficult time going to the cinema without the guys and gals who serve you popcorn and sell the tickets. And you don't want to stand up for two hours, do you? So what about the chairs in the cinema, and the people who made them, and the people who made the fabric for the chairs? For that matter, what about the cinema itself, and its bricklayers and architects? How did you get to the cinema? Did you drive yourself? What about the car and what it's made from, the people who put it together, the people who designed it?
I could go on and on about just this one scenario, but you get the picture. What this means for us is that nothing can exist on its own, without relying on anything else. Everything that you are has been influenced by something or someone else. So why should that make us happy? Well, once we realise that everything is connected, we can be more grateful for everything and everyone, and also be more accepting of things changing and being more fluid than we sometimes think, and this can help us let go of attachments.
Interconnectedness is also related to the Buddhist term "emptiness". More on this tomorrow.
Sunday, 16 March 2014
Great expectations
Sometimes we're wrong about the things that make us happy. Take shopping, for example. You go to a shop looking for a gorgeous dress to wear to *insert occasion here*. (Or a shirt if you're a guy.) You find the perfect dress - great colour, looks gorgeous. But they don't have any in your size. You try the next size up or down, but it's too big/too small. Big disappointment.
At the time, we think the world of this dress. We think this beautiful dress is the answer to all of our self-confidence worries. In this dress, we will look amazing, we will feel amazing, and everyone will agree that we're just plain awesome.
But then the occasion will be over, we'll have to go to work the next morning, and the dress will go back in the wardrobe. The dress won't make the commute to work any less stressful, it won't make Monday go any quicker, and it won't bring the weekend any faster. It's not a miracle worker! In fact, in a few months you'll be stood in front of your wardrobe looking for something to wear, and you'll find that dress again. But it won't look as new and shiny as it did before. You'll take it out of the wardrobe, hold it up against you, say "hmm, nah..." and put it back. Then you'll go looking for the next gorgeous miracle-working dress. You won't even feel like the dress is quite as fit for what you wanted it for in the first place, never mind all the hopes you had pinned on it about looking and feeling amazing forever. Because even if it did make you feel good for one night, it wouldn't make you feel that way all the time. Only you can do that. This is just another example of the impermanence of, well, everything, and how when everything is changing around us, it's so important to be able to rely on our own minds to bring us happiness.
At the time, we think the world of this dress. We think this beautiful dress is the answer to all of our self-confidence worries. In this dress, we will look amazing, we will feel amazing, and everyone will agree that we're just plain awesome.
But then the occasion will be over, we'll have to go to work the next morning, and the dress will go back in the wardrobe. The dress won't make the commute to work any less stressful, it won't make Monday go any quicker, and it won't bring the weekend any faster. It's not a miracle worker! In fact, in a few months you'll be stood in front of your wardrobe looking for something to wear, and you'll find that dress again. But it won't look as new and shiny as it did before. You'll take it out of the wardrobe, hold it up against you, say "hmm, nah..." and put it back. Then you'll go looking for the next gorgeous miracle-working dress. You won't even feel like the dress is quite as fit for what you wanted it for in the first place, never mind all the hopes you had pinned on it about looking and feeling amazing forever. Because even if it did make you feel good for one night, it wouldn't make you feel that way all the time. Only you can do that. This is just another example of the impermanence of, well, everything, and how when everything is changing around us, it's so important to be able to rely on our own minds to bring us happiness.
Monday, 3 March 2014
The path to ending suffering
As promised yesterday, here's a quick look at the Eightfold Path. Buddha taught people of the Eightfold Path, which is a set of guidelines to follow in order to end suffering and be happy. Let's take a look at each of the eight points, and what they mean.
1. Right understanding - This refers to understanding the four noble truths - that there is suffering in the world caused by attachment, and we can end suffering by removing attachments.
2. Right thought - Having good will and intentions towards others
3. Right speech - Avoiding lying, gossiping or saying hurtful things to others.
4. Right conduct - No violence, stealing or sexual misconduct (e.g. rape or being unfaithful).
5. Right livelihood - Not having a job which may harm others.
6. Right effort - Avoiding negative thoughts such as anger or jealousy.
7. Right mindfulness - Being mindful of your emotional and physical wellbeing.
8. Right concentration - Using meditation to clear the mind and reach enlightenment.
By applying these to our everyday lives we can cultivate happiness. We might think that things like right speech and right conduct are things which benefit others, but aren't we just plain happier when we're saying positive things instead of negative things, or being hurtful or deceitful? If we surround ourselves with happy people we'll be happier too, and that's not going to happen if we don't try to make other people happy. Namaste.
1. Right understanding - This refers to understanding the four noble truths - that there is suffering in the world caused by attachment, and we can end suffering by removing attachments.
2. Right thought - Having good will and intentions towards others
3. Right speech - Avoiding lying, gossiping or saying hurtful things to others.
4. Right conduct - No violence, stealing or sexual misconduct (e.g. rape or being unfaithful).
5. Right livelihood - Not having a job which may harm others.
6. Right effort - Avoiding negative thoughts such as anger or jealousy.
7. Right mindfulness - Being mindful of your emotional and physical wellbeing.
8. Right concentration - Using meditation to clear the mind and reach enlightenment.
By applying these to our everyday lives we can cultivate happiness. We might think that things like right speech and right conduct are things which benefit others, but aren't we just plain happier when we're saying positive things instead of negative things, or being hurtful or deceitful? If we surround ourselves with happy people we'll be happier too, and that's not going to happen if we don't try to make other people happy. Namaste.
Sunday, 2 March 2014
Why attachment is bad
I've spoken once or twice about attachment in previous blogs, so here's a quick overview of what attachment is is Buddhist terms, and why you might want to do away with it.
When I speak of attachment in this case, I'm talking about feeling attached to ideas and objects or circumstances that aren't permanent. And guess what? Everything is impermanent.
Here are a couple of examples of attachment:
Attachment to possessions
Attachment to the way your life is/job is/relationship is
Because nothing ever stays the same - things break, people change, plans get cancelled, and so on - if we are attached to things, it makes us unhappy when we lose them. So if we recognise that the things we have won't be around forever, we'll be less distressed when our car is totalled, we can't find the dress we really want in our size, or we don't get to see our friends when we want to.
And that doesn't mean that we shouldn't ever want anything, or love someone, or that we should expect the worst to happen and be pessimistic. It just means that we should be realistic with the expectations we place on people and objects, and acknowledge that cars don't last forever, having a new dress won't make us happy forever, and people won't necessarily be available every time we want them to be. But just as we should realise good things don't last forever, we should realise that bad things don't last forever, either.
You have just learnt about The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism, which are the basics of Buddha's teachings:
1. The truth of suffering - Basically, there is suffering in life.
2. The truth of the cause of suffering - Suffering is caused by attachment.
3. The truth of the end of suffering - We can end suffering by letting go of attachments.
4. The truth of the path that frees us from suffering - This is the eightfold path. More on this tomorrow!
When I speak of attachment in this case, I'm talking about feeling attached to ideas and objects or circumstances that aren't permanent. And guess what? Everything is impermanent.
Here are a couple of examples of attachment:
Attachment to possessions
Attachment to the way your life is/job is/relationship is
Because nothing ever stays the same - things break, people change, plans get cancelled, and so on - if we are attached to things, it makes us unhappy when we lose them. So if we recognise that the things we have won't be around forever, we'll be less distressed when our car is totalled, we can't find the dress we really want in our size, or we don't get to see our friends when we want to.
And that doesn't mean that we shouldn't ever want anything, or love someone, or that we should expect the worst to happen and be pessimistic. It just means that we should be realistic with the expectations we place on people and objects, and acknowledge that cars don't last forever, having a new dress won't make us happy forever, and people won't necessarily be available every time we want them to be. But just as we should realise good things don't last forever, we should realise that bad things don't last forever, either.
You have just learnt about The Four Noble Truths of Buddhism, which are the basics of Buddha's teachings:
1. The truth of suffering - Basically, there is suffering in life.
2. The truth of the cause of suffering - Suffering is caused by attachment.
3. The truth of the end of suffering - We can end suffering by letting go of attachments.
4. The truth of the path that frees us from suffering - This is the eightfold path. More on this tomorrow!
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