Sometimes I get scared and I don't know where to put it

Sometimes I put it in words. Very occasionally I put it in pictures. Either way, if it has somewhere to go, we both feel better.

For me, it's the whole Lynch syndrome thing. I have realised recently that it makes me feel like I have no control, but almost completely responsible at the same time, which is an odd combination. Because I can't control whether I get cancer again or not, but if I do get it again and it's worse than the first time, it will be my fault because I know it could happen again and that I should look for any signs and be vigilant, so it's my responsibility to look out for it and stop it before it gets bad. I have been forewarned. So yeah. It scares me sometimes. I tried to get rid of the feeling the other night by going on Tumblr and basically typing that I was scared about ten times, just to get it out. Didn't really make much difference, so I drew it instead.

Have a scheduled outburst

What on earth is a scheduled outburst, you might ask?

Well, if you have something that is playing on your mind long-term, making you anxious and trying to take over your mind all the time, this could be good for you.

Choose a time once a week, or once a day if you feel it necessary, when you "schedule in" time to think about, talk about or write about what's troubling you. Talk to someone close to you, talk to yourself if you have to, or write your thoughts down in a journal. This is your allocated time.

The rest of your time is not for dedicating to your problem or worries. That time is for living, and thinking about other, regular day-to-day things as much as you can. If you catch yourself thinking too deeply about it or talking about it outside of the hour or so you allocate it, put it to one side and tell yourself you'll think about it later. Remember how when you were a kid in class you used to sit in a circle and only the child who was holding the talking stick/bouncy ball/teddy bear was allowed to talk? It's like that.

I can't take credit for this idea, unfortunately. I read it in this book, which has proved to be really useful for me. Let me know if you find scheduled outbursts work for you!

Thoughts aren't facts

Something that helps me chill out sometimes is to remind myself of something I once read - thoughts aren't facts.

The next time you have a panic or sudden worry about something, think about that - thoughts aren't facts. They're just thoughts. Just because something pops into your head doesn't mean it's true. Your brain may be conjuring up nonsense, because let's face it, sometimes are brains aren't very helpful towards us. So when it throws up a worrying thought, don't mount it and ride it like a wild horse until it throws you into a ditch. Just watch it. Observe it, and acknowledge how it makes you feel, and be mindful. You don't need to do anything more than that. Because if you just watch it and don't engage it, that wild horse will keep on running until it disappears into the distance.

Having A Happy Mantra

Every day, Lisa Bonchek Adams posts the following Tweet:

"Find a bit of beauty in the world today. Share it. If you can't find it, create it. Some days this may be hard to do. Persevere."

Every single day. Pretty cool, I thought. Every time I see it, it makes me think. It doesn't get old. What a great way to try to find something positive in every day.

I have something a little similar, wherein if I start thinking too much about things that make me feel anxious or unhappy, I tell myself to "shut up and breathe, just shut up and breathe". Not quite as poetic as Lisa's, and a bit more bossy and demanding, but it tends to make me snap out of whatever unpleasant train of thought I'm having and bring myself back to the present moment so I'm not so wrapped up in those thoughts.

Whether it's something you say to yourself every day to find positivity, or something you use to stop feeling stressed, an encouraging thought to rely on when you need it can be a great thing to have. And if you make a habit of incorporating it into your life, positivity will become routine and natural to you.