It's hard being truthful online

It's really strange being so honest on the internet, because I never know who knows what about me. I've never been so honest and open online before, but with this blog and my personal Tumblr, I just say whatever I feel like saying. My Tumblr is even more revealing than this blog, and it's a relief to be able to say whatever I want. On Tumblr, it's mostly strangers reading, because I never post any links to those posts on Facebook or anywhere else.

But with this blog, I do say a lot of stuff, and the only reason I really hold back a bit is because this is a blog that's supposed to be about happiness, and me dwelling on negative things kind of defeats the purpose unless it's to explain a point about being positive.

So when I do post on here, I normally post a link on my @how2behappyblog on Twitter, and on my own personal Facebook - not the how to be happy Facebook page because there's nobody there, but my own private Facebook page where all my friends and family are. (Though I do hide these kinds of posts from my family.) And it just makes it a bit weird because I reveal a lot about myself on the internet that you can't just drop into conversation face to face. It makes me wonder who reads these things and who knows what about me. Sometimes I'm talking to someone - either online or offline - and I'll be thinking "Do you know? Do you know all about who I am, what I've been through in the past, how I feel about some things? What do you think about it? Do you think of me differently now, and is that for better or worse? Or do you just not really think about it much at all?" And it's really weird, because... I dunno, it's just odd. I do like telling the truth online though. It makes me feel brave. It's easier than saying things out loud, though at times it's still kinda hard... but face to face if I try to say something, sometimes the words just won't come out. That's a strange experience as well isn't it? When you're so close to saying something but you just can't bring yourself to say the words. Fear. Or something.

I'm not asking anyone to tell me that they know (unless they really want to). It's just something that occurred to me. And I like people to know, because it makes me feel like people know me better. Because it's such a big part of me now, whether I like it or not.

I've just realised I've managed to write this entire blog post without saying what "it" is. But if anyone is reading and they've read the blog before, they'll probably know already.

Have A Happy Facebook

It's Facebook's tenth birthday today, so it seems like an appropriate time, once the mandatory lamenting of Mark Zuckerberg's success is done with, to post about having a happy Facebook.

Facebook actually seems to bring about quite a bit of distress for some people. From jealousy over other people's seemingly perfect lives (they're as un-perfect as yours, they're just not posting the bad bits, same as you), to being tagged in unflattering pictures, to the angry backlash from a spur of the moment status that should have been more thought - there seem to be a never ending amount of problems.

But I always argue that it's not Facebook that causes problems, it's the way people use it. Here's a quote from one of my favourite Facebook pages, Buddhist Boot Camp:

"I invite you to make your own Facebook page a source of positivity and inspiration for others. We are over-exposed to fear and negativity through all other forms of media, so don't use social media for more of the same... Instead of complaining on here, judging or belittling others, make sure that when someone lands on your page or sees your posts, they are uplifted, inspired, and look forward to hearing from you again." - Timber Hawkeye

So inspired by this, here's a list of things we can all do to make Facebook more of a hive of happiness, without jealousy, anger or upset.

1. Think before you post. Allow me to share another quote from Buddhist Boot Camp:

"Before speaking (or typing), ask yourself these three questions: 

Is what I'm about to say true? 

Is what I'm about to say necessary? 

Is what I'm about to say kind? 

If it's not, then don't say it, email it or text it.. eventually you won't even think it. Make this a new habit and you'll immediately be contributing to an honest, sincere, and gossip-free world! 

Be part of the solution by not being part of the pollution!"

2. If someone continuously posts gossiping, bitter, or hurtful statuses, there's no reason why you can't unfriend them... unless they are actually your close friends or family, in which case if you don't want to cause upset you could simply hide their updates from your wall.

3. Follow pages that inspire you or make you laugh

4. Complain less, and post more about what makes you happy.

5. Remember that other people only post the good parts of their life on Facebook. People may seem like they have a lot to gloat about and nothing to worry about, but everyone has their own struggles that they don't talk about online. Don't compare your bad days to the good moments they post on Facebook.