Choosing to be happy

Ever say anything like "you make me so angry", "that's going to annoy me", or even "I can't help the way I feel"?

That last one isn't entirely true, though we tend to assume it is.

The first one kind of sounds like you're blaming someone else for your unhappiness, and the second one sounds like you're planning on getting annoyed later!

But you can catch these thoughts, and question them, and just by doing that you're halfway to making that last sentence a complete myth - you can help the way you feel.

Next time you think or say "you make me angry", or any other negative emotion, stop yourself. It's as if you're allowing that person to make you feel bad, isn't it? Don't let them.

Next time you think or say "that's going to annoy me", remind yourself that you don't actually want to schedule annoyance and irritation into your day. Whatever the annoying thing is, it's not going to stick around forever, and it might not be as bad as you expect.

And when you say you can't help the way you feel, question it. Try to prove yourself wrong.

I'm not saying that you should never feel angry, or annoyed, or upset. It's okay to feel negative emotions. It's a problem if you get attached to them. More on that later. The main thing here is that you can choose to be happy. It's in your control, and you are the only person who can truly dictate your emotions. That's really how to be happy. You have to do it yourself.

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