Timewarp: How to let go of anger

I really like this blog. The example in it is a great example of the reasoning I still apply today almost as second nature now, and I think it's one of the biggest ways in which Buddhism has changed my perspective, and changed me as a person. This was written in 2009.

Anger and Motivation

In The Art of Happiness, the Dalai Lama talks about how we can deal with anger. I feel as if I’m always in here talking about books I have read and not real experience, but this particular section of this book is something I feel I can really apply to my life, and I have in fact, without really realising it. It seems that the more I read, the more I absorb, consciously or subconsciously, and I find myself applying ideas to my behaviour.

Anyway, this particular chapter stuck with me and made a lot of sense. It teaches us to think about why we are angry and if our anger is justified. It asks us to question whether or not we should really be angry at a person – did they intentionally try to make us angry? For example, I was at work yesterday, just about to close my till and go home, and was serving my last customer. My shift finishes at half six and as the clock on my till said six thirty and I was yet to close up my till, I was beginning to get impatient with my customer, who was slowly searching through her purse for her store card. As I felt myself get frustrated with her, I stopped and realised that of course she wasn’t keeping me waiting on purpose. She probably didn’t realise that it was time for me to go home and so, why should I get angry at her? I could have allowed myself to get annoyed about not getting out of work exactly on time and had a bit of a rant about it when I got home, but it wasn’t like I had anywhere else to be. So I let it go, and until I came to think of an example to demonstrate in this blog, I had completely forgotten about it.

Of course, sometimes people do things which are intentionally mean, and perhaps we should be angry about them. But what does this anger achieve? How does being angry at the person solve the situation? It just makes us feel bad and is an obstacle in the way of our happiness. We shouldn’t allow ourselves to be doormats, and should certainly point out when someone is being unfair or hurtful because they might not realise it. But it is always best to let feelings of anger go and to not get attached to them because ultimately, these feelings do not help anyone.